Pointers Talking Back

I discussed before how dogs listen to us. What I'm sure many of you have also noticed is that they are pretty good at making themselves clear to us, as well. Sometimes with amusing results.

One of the first things dogs learn is housebreaking. Once the message of THOU SHALT NOT DIRTY THE HOUSE is made clear, they are left with the problem of how to tell us when it's time. Many of my dogs are not particularly good at this. We have so many that we simply have them on a schedule. They go out in the morning, spend most of the afternoons outdoors, and out again at night. Anything in between would fall under the category of a "special request." So, many of them have simply never learned how to ask to go out. But, I can usually tell.

There is the pace, pace, pace around and around the room...

There is the banging one's head fruitlessly against the back door.

There is one, who shall remain nameless to protect the guilty, who was particularly difficult to housebreak. This particular pointer would just disappear.... Mysteriously, a mess would appear in my study. Apparently, MY communication of THOU SHALT NOT was interpreted as THOU SHALT NOT BE CAUGHT IN THE ACT. A nice gate into the doorway of the study solved that.... Now this dog does the pace, pace, pace between me and the door.

Our least favorite method is often used by Morgan, who is nearing 15 years of age. At her age, while she goes out before the last of us to head to bed, she often wants to go out during the night, as well. Her method of communication is panting. Nothing wakes a person up better than inadvertently inhaling death-breath while sleeping. I'm sure it's contributed to some of my recent nightmares about corpses rising from the dead. Well, she can't help it....

The next thing dogs learn is how to tell you they are hungry. I'm sure most of us feed our dogs on a pretty regular schedule. While dogs cannot tell time, their bodies can. Promptly at 6:55PM, mine begin the "Dinner dance." This is quite subtle. They know darn well that I'm not simply going to get up and feed them because they demand it, and that too much pestering is NOT going to go over well and might delay dinner altogether.

Rowan, who is NOT so subtle, will stand in the laundry room gazing at her crate and moaning in despair. Because of course, she has missed SO many meals in her life that there is always that risk...

Morgan gives us the plaintive stare. "Wasting away here!" she says, and "I'm sure you would ike me to help polish off YOUR dinner." She also will add some cha-cha with her feet, in case we aren't paying attention. Sometimes she chatters her teeth. Now THAT's a bizarre skill...

Our Z is by far the funniest. She will nudge us a few times, but not TOO many. She just wants us to KNOW she is thinking of supper. Then, to further engage our attention, she will FLING herself onto the nearest toy, bone or chew hoof and begin gnawing away fiercely, demonstrating her great appetite. This usually works pretty well. By the time we have finished laughing at her, it is now 7PM and the "between TV shows commercials" have begun and it's actually TIME to feed dogs.

We are careful to close the door to our laundry room while the dogs are eating. The hoovering and slurping noises often drown out the TV.

Another important piece of information that the pointers like to share with us is "You may pet me NOW." This is accomplished in various ways. First, the ever-popular FOOT ON THE KNEE. Ad-nauseum. Until you want to SCREAM. Z was so bad with this as a puppy that we taught her the command NO FEET.

Next is the also-popular elbow nudge. Usually performed while the intended victim is holding a hot drink. Or, in winter, a very cold drink. I'm not sure why they persist with this, as it rarely accomplishes the goal. Instead it elicits cursing and a quick exit to get some paper towels to mop up.

A more effective method of communicating the dog's desire for physical attention is the famous pointer LEAN. They will sidle up to you, turn sideways and press against your leg. This normally gets the desired result.

Now, many of my pointers are acquainted with a dear friend of mine and her husband. This husband is a huge sucker for dogs and is always good for some pats and scritches. Particularly BUTT-scritches. These are quite desireable. Now, when they greet this sweet man, they present themselves behind first. The message is very clear: "You may massage my posterior NOW."

A lot of my dogs do not really play WITH me. They play amongst themselves, they play with their toys, but they prefer their time spent with me to be either working (hunting, obedience, showing - they all LOVE these activities, not least because it gets them some valuable one-on-one time) or snuggling.

Rowan is the exception. She LOVES to play ball. Ball is best played with a friend. So I'm elected. Naturally, her method of communicating this is to present me with the ball. FOREVER. While I'm talking on the phone. While I'm raking. While I'm cooking. Whatever I'm doing, the ball magically appears and I will look up to see those eager dark eyes just BEGGING me to "Thow it! Throw it! Throw it AGAIN!"

I've been gifted with the ball in my pile of laundry while I'm sorting it. In a hole I've dug to plant flowers. In my shoe while I'm putting on its mate. And, in the bathtub.... No question what is wanted.

Clearly Rowan is one who makes herself quite clear. She's gifted at talking with us and asks a LOT of questions during training. Some have included,"Are you sure you REALLY want me to stay WAY over here?" and "What do you mean ALL THE WAY DOWN?" and "GIVE means show it to you and run away, right?"

Her mother, on the other hand, wishes me to be telepathic. She will plant herself in front of me, and gaze at me with her huge dark eyes, and make me guess. She excels at being inscrutable. I will run thru all the obvious possibilities "Wanna go out?" "Need a drink?" "Cookie?" (ok this one is a throw-away because the answer to THIS is always "Yes!" and then of course the others all chime in "Me too!" with wagging and charging to the cookie jar. ) However, I digress. Once all these options have been eliminated and cookies handed around, I will look down and there is Scarlett, telling me SOMETHING.

"What?!?" I will ask her. Blink, blink, stare. Blink, blink, stare. HA! Maybe she will want me to throw something for her to fetch! So I will toss the nearest thing: a pen, the remote, my cell phone, for her to retrieve. She will promptly return it to me, wagging just a bit, and hand it over. Sometimes this is what she wanted. Sometimes not. Blink, blink, stare. "Did you wanna sit with me?" Eureka! "Yes, thank god you finally figured THAT out," she says with a snort, and I will be severely trampled while she clambers into my recliner with me. Scarlett is NOT good at snuggling.

Most often all the pointers are saying is, "I love you." The feet on the knee, the head to the elbow, the leaning, even the unfathomable stare, it all means the same thing. They love us. They say it ALL the time. It's embarrassing. And sweet. And it makes you think about how lucky you are to share a life with a creature whose main aim in life is to tell you how much they love you. Even if it takes you fifteen minutes to figure it out!